How To Avoid Break-up In Relationship And Marriage

A real Relationship is an agreement between
a man and a woman with marriage as the
end goal. If you are in this type of marriage,
you are partners in a pre-marriage
relationship. You are the one that needs to
learn this secret that can mould you into the
ideal spouse for each other. The challenges
in relationship and even marriage are based
on the ignorance of couples on these four
pillars that can make or break your
relationship.
A recent research indicates that 50 percent
of marriages will end up in divorce while 85
percent of relationship will end in a break-
up. If there is a 50 percent and 15 percent
that can survive in marriage and
relationship, it is an indication that your
relationship and marriage can be a part of
them; you only need to know what to do
and how to do it.
Most relationships and marriages break-up
because one or both partners have not:
mastered their emotions
conquered negative patterns
become an asset
become extremely teachable
These four components are the pillar that
makes The High-Value Partner™ who he is.
This is the ideal partner; a partner to die for
who will give you the happiness you are
looking for in your relationship and
consequently marriage.
Mastering Your Emotions
When you have mastered your emotions you
will know yourself, I mean all there is to
know about you and you will have self
mastery over these six areas – food, sex,
anger, money, sleep, talk.
Knowing yourself involves understanding
your personality, why you get angry over
the things you get angry about? Why you
love the things you love and why you hate
the things you hate? It involves knowing
what you are not extremely good at and
knowing every little detail you can about
yourself. When you don’t know yourself
deep enough, you will be shocked at the
negative things you can do in your
relationship.
Some men never believed they had the
capacity to slap their women until they did;
that is a lack of deep knowledge of self.
Some women argued that they can never
cheat on their spouse but they did; it’s
because they haven’t looked at their life to
have a deep sense of self. When you don’t
know yourself, you will be causing your
partner more pain that gain.
Mastering your emotions also involves self
mastery over food, sex, anger, sleep, money
and talk. One or all these five has been and
will continue to be the major driver of
unhappiness in relationships. Do you know
all you need to know about them and how it
affects your relationship?
Conquering Negative Patterns
Negative patterns are the opinions, habits
and behaviors we have formed over time
which are injurious to our love life and
significant other. “I can never wash a
woman’s cloth”, “a man that cannot supply
all my need is not worth it”, “when I talk
you must keep quiet”, “I am superior to
you”, “it’s not wrong if my woman pay all
bills while I lounge to enjoy”, “I can break
this relationship when something little go
wrong”, “I can’t suffer for any man o”, “a
woman’s place is in the kitchen”.
All of these are patterns and I have not even
mentioned habits and behaviours. Patterns
are gotten in two ways, Genetically and
Environmentally. Most men will do some or
all the things their father did in marriage;
same with women – that’s genetic patterns.
Environmental patterns are the ones passed
to you through friends while gisting, having
a drink and while growing up. These
opinions shape your way of life and you
react to your significant other based on
them – You need to conquer them.
To conquer negative patterns is to first
identify them and get an expert or coach to
help you rid them. Then, make a list of your
pre-set patterns; the ones God put in you
before your parents and the environment
passed theirs down to you. Live by these
ones from now on and you will be amazed at
the result in your relationship and marriage.
Becoming an Asset
I’m already running out of space, I can’t dig
deep into this. One question for you though.
Is your partner better now that they are
with you than when they were on their own?
What significant contribution do you plan to
add to your partner’s life (physical and
spiritual) in the next 12 months? This will
give you an idea.
Becoming Extremely Teachable
Just a few questions for you here too:
When was the last time you learnt something
new especially in the area of relationship
and marriage? Do you always insist on
having it your own way? Do you believe you
are more intelligent than your spouse? How
often do you apologise? Does it take you
‘one year’ to accept your partner’s apology
when offended? When was the last time you
allowed your partner have it his/her way
just to make them feel great?
No matter how intelligent you think you are,
if you are always executing your ideas
without asking for your partner’s opinion,
you are not teachable.
Your problem is not communication, when
you become an asset and becomes extremely
teachable, you will learn and master
communication. Your problem is not
money, when you master your emotions and
self, you will know what you are great at and
will turn it into cash. Your problem is not
your mother-in-law, when you conquer
negative patterns and become an asset, your
attitude will change towards her and hers
will change towards you. Your problem is
not even sex, you only need to learn new
ways to sexually satisfy – that’s also being
teachable.
What you call the problem is not the
problem, the problem is that you have not
become The High-Value Partner™ and you
are in a relationship with someone who is
also not one.
These four pillars I shared with you are the
process under The High-Value Partner
Program™ which I take individuals, partners
and couples through in my coaching
program.