10 Reasons Relationships Fail

The source of these problems for couples is Human Sexuality by Roger Hock – yes, it’s a boring title, but it’s got some fantastic insights into romantic relationships. It’s not just about sex, it’s about how couples communicate.

1. Broken promises, lying, cheating, stealing; These violations of trust almost always result in relationship problems, and is an obvious reasons a
relationship fails. If the basic trust in a love relationship is repeatedly broken, problems accumulate and the motivation to stay together decreases. Couples in loving relationships can learn to
reconcile their differences – and even survive a physical or emotional affair without anger or bitterness.
2. Imbalance of power in relationships;
Couples may be more likely to break up when one partner has more decision-making power than the other. When one person makes all the decisions
about activities, friends, financial matters, household matters, and vacations, the relationship isn’t balanced or loving, and quickly becomes unstable. Both partners should equally share the decision making power.
3. Acceptance of stereotypes in relationships; This was once a more common reason relationships failed, but it still exists today! Mistaken gender myths
include beliefs such as “Men should earn more money than women” or “Women should stay at home and raise the kids.” If couples believe these.stereotypes, they create false expectations that can lead to splitting up.
4. Isolation from friends and family;
This reason for splitting up is based on fear and insecurity; new couples may isolate themselves from other people because they’re “in love and want to be
together.” A brief period of cocooning is normal for many couples, but it’s far healthier to interact with other people regularly.
5. Lack of self-knowledge;
If one or both partners aren’t in tune with their own interests, needs, desires, future plans, goals, values, and preferences, then it’s difficult for them to build a better marriage or healthy love relationship. Self-knowledge helps partners communicate who they are and what they want in a relationship, which can
prevent problems.
6. Low self-esteem, insecurity, and
lack of self-confidence Relationships fail because one partner feels unworthy
of being loved. This insecurity can lead to
possessiveness and dependence, which isn’t healthy for either partner in the love relationship. Couples break up because of insecurity and jealousy.
7. Excessive jealousy – one of the
most common reasons relationships
fail “Jealousy is cited as one of the most frequent causes of the breakup of romantic relationships,” writes
Hock. Delusional jealousy can trigger abuse and violence, which can (and should) be why a couple breaks up! Delusional jealousy isn’t as common as
“normal” jealousy, but both can cause serious relationship problems.
8. Ineffective communication
Both partners need to be able to share their thoughts, feelings, opinions, values, needs, frustrations, and joys. Sometimes couples avoid speaking honestly and
hide their true selves, which may not always lead to a break up…but it doesn’t strengthen their bond!
9. Control issues; If one partner is trying to control or manipulate the
other, the relationship can become weak or destructive. Controlling behaviors include checking up on the partner, name-calling, threatening the partner, requiring the partner to check in all the
time, or not allowing any deviations from the schedule. These signs of obsessive love may not cause the couple to break up, but it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
10. Unhealthy physical behavior;
This is an obvious relationship problem that should lead to an immediate break up. Physical, intimate, and emotional abuse are attempts to gain total
control over a partner. Though relationships like this should end immediately, couples stay together stay
for various reasons.